I might have died. In fact, my friend Matt Lyon was killed in a motorcycle crash 3 weeks before my accident. Many of us miss him deeply. As a teacher, artist, and friend, his life meant so much to hundreds of people. Not surprisingly, then, his death brought us all closer to the meaning and value of our own lives, and to the gifts of love and teaching Matt gave to us.

See the art I created in Matt's honor, called Opening.

If things had gone differently for me, maybe my death could have brought some gifts too, and the kind of Life that continues on in memory or inspiration, like Matt's does now. I don't know. I hope someday it might.

I might have killed another motorist. After much soul-searching, I believe I made the best choices I could after another driver's mistake. I'm still stunned and horrified that they included a swerve into an oncoming lane, even though I thought the lane was clear. Sometimes I still wonder if I could have done something better, and I won't ever totally be sure. I am more grateful than I can say that Grace limited damage and impact in this accident to fairly minor injuries. I pray often that the family in the motor home I hit is recovering from their trauma. I'm grateful to the father/driver for accepting my apologies at the scene.

If things had gone differently for me, maybe I would be tortured by mistaken reactions and guilt for injury or death of another. I would be facing an impossibly huge need for forgiveness, hoping I might have the courage to receive it. Until I heard otherwise at the accident scene, I thought I might have caused a death-- it was one of the worst moments of my life. I don't know if I could have received that depth of forgiveness. I hope I might.

I could have been much more seriously hurt in my accident. Another friend, Ron H, is overcoming huge pain and physical challenge to cope with changes that came after his bicycle accident, about a month after mine. He's lost movement in his legs but not his spirit! He is a great man, regaining a new life and inspiring hundreds of people.

If things had gone differently for me, maybe a long effort to recover and face limits in my mobility could have made me strong and beautiful like Ron. I don't know. I hope I would have had as much grace and courage.

What happened to me is just a different kind of living, no more or less miracle than the stories of Matt, or Ron, or a driver who made a mistake, or your own.

I want to make the best use I can of my experiences and each new day of my life. Sometimes I forget and get grouchy, when my knee injury hurts or my decisions seem overwhelming. I'm not always an angel, and I don't always remember to be grateful.

But today, on "Alive Day," this anniversary date, I remember.

Today I say thank you.

--Melanie, 6-26-06 ; Updated 10-26-06 after helpful comments from a reader invited me to include the paragraphs about mistakes.