Sometimes I find my creative and spiritual life blocked by fears. One day, I made some fun cartoons of my "fear monsters," and found they had less sting. Do you recognize these monsters? Do other ones haunt you? What do they look like, and what do they say to you?

I've also been discovering that behind every fear monster can be a teaching angel. When I let go of my fears and listen instead for what Love offers, I find invitations to trust, and joy, and contentment. See the angel I found, pictured right below its monster. What might God be inviting you to see beyond your fears?

(Scroll down for an additional essay below the cartoons)

Essay from a workshop handout, February 2004:

Everyone deals with fear. I believe fear is the most destructive force, robbing us of trust in God, ourselves and each other. Fear blocks me from true life and from being who I am created to be-- freely giving my love and gifts in the world. I'm tired of being cheated by my fears.

So I've experimented with prayers around fear, with a little fun. I started making cartoon monsters out of them, giving them names and dragon scales and creepy tentacles. It's fun, it's cathartic, and it helps the fears seem less paralyzing. See the "Perfection Monster" drawing here-- she's ominous and haunting, the way she is in my self-judgment thoughts.

But I found a surprise: when I paid attention to the fears and made their portraits, I began to wonder if they were really all bad. There they were, looking goofy like dragons and ghosts, and I started to wonder if they were hanging around for a reason; maybe to tell me something. (They did work awfully hard.) So, I tried being kind to the fears, and listening to them-- even giving a little love and tenderness, like I might with a frightened child. "I'll bet you've been hurt," I imagined saying to my Perfection Monster. "Wanna tell me about it?"

Then something wonderful opened in me. With a little love, patience, and prayer, I began to see that this fear monster did indeed have a message for me: it said I wasn't believing that my Self, my life, and my love were enough. It showed me that I didn't trust myself to measure up to some standard of "OK." Of course it felt like a monster-- this mistrust and judgment made me less than I truly am. But, as soon as I really heard her, the monster was mysteriously transformed into the "Enough Angel." My eyes were opened to see that she was a messenger from God or my wise Self, saying that I could learn to value myself and my life: I am enough. She brought me a chance to become free!

I still wrestle with many monsters, but now I know that a haunting fear can become a message to trust if I listen with love. Try it yourself-- being free from fear is worth the work.